The grass is greener

Bearing in mind how often you hear of football managers and high-profile execs finding themselves on ‘gardening leave', it's a wonder none of them has ever walked away with a Gold Flora award from the Chelsea Flower Show.

But I learned this week that, for one channel face, gardening leave is set to mean exactly that. An industry pal of mine recently rang me up to reveal he'd left his firm and was planning an extended - if not permanent - break from the mile-a-minute world of IT solutions provision.

As he spoke, he told me he was staring out at his massive garden. He quickly drifted into a beatific reverie as he mused on his plans for a long and fruitful retirement spent tilling the land and touching up his hanging baskets.

Might sound idyllic, but I can honestly say: rather you than me, buddy. After two days of beetroot, begonias and watching Through the Keyhole with Her Indoors, I'd take an entry-level telesales job at the first reseller who'd have me.