I am on Twitter. (Shudder).

Yes, you read that correctly. Sigh. After resolving to take my ambivalence towards Twitter to levels of almost religious zeal (if such a thing is possible), I have, for little apparent reason, caved in.

So, that's it. You will now find me communicating with my fellow man solely in utterances of 140 characters or less. In fact, from now on, I will be Tweeting up a storm with the best of them, not caring one jot that our brains are slowly atrophying as our mother tongue mutates into some hideous, sewer-dwelling beast of a language. Probably.

Clearly, this whole experiment is going to be a riot of LOLs, ROFLs and maybe even a few OMGs - so you should, like, totally sign up. I can be found on @davethedealer and I will give a free anti-malware suite - straight from the development labs of Moldova's fourth most prestigious vendor - to everyone who follows me.*

On top of which, if you're in the market for salacious channel titbits, as well as all your fave robot and internet idiot stories, then I promise to be your number one source. With the possible exception of TV news. And national and local newspapers. And magazines, the radio, online news sites, trade journals, bloggers and raving derelicts on street corners.

It's gonna be a little bit special. See you there, dear reader.

* You will not get the software.