Seeds of doubt

As a career technologist and - as you can't have failed to notice - a big, burly, virile, thrusting bloke of a man, I stumbled across some research that worried me deeply this week.

Scientists from Argentina and the US have completed a study that suggests exposure
to Wi-Fi signals may harm a man's fertility. For reasons best known to themselves, the science bods convinced 29 chaps to provide, shall we say, samples.

Each of these offerings was divvied up into two pots (I imagine they drew lots for that job), with one half left for four hours next to a wirelessly connected laptop and the other half left in an internet-free environment.

The behaviour of each donor's little men was then analysed, and it was found that those that had been basking in Wi-Fi rays were less-capable swimmers.

All of which adds up to deeply pioneering work, I'm sure you'll agree. But you have to wonder which budding young biologist thought they'd get interesting results by depositing the substance in question next to a laptop. Or perhaps that little experiment wasn't planned.