A bird's-eye view of IT

08 Nov 2012

Regular readers will know that I care deeply about women's issues and want nothing more than to live in a world where all laydeez are given the same respect - and salary - as their male counterparts. Even the right mingers.
So imagine my delight to read that the metrosexual forward-thinkers at Fwomen-in-law-copyujitsu have struck a blow for gender equality by releasing a PC aimed squarely at the female of the species. The Floral Kiss range of pooters went on sale last week and includes one designed in conjunction with jewellery brand agete.
The devices apparently come in three colours: Elegant White; Luxury Brown; and Feminine Pink (I think I found a magazine called that under Dave Jr's bed). Other not-at-all-stereotypical femcentric features include the provision of free daily horoscopes.
This got me thinking: if women are getting the Floral Kiss, aren't us blokes being overlooked? I've written to Fujitsu with my blueprints for the man version. I call it the Lager Explosion. BOSH!

Clouding the issue
As I write, storm Sandy has, to date, claimed more than 100 lives. The states of New York and New Jersey, with a combined population of 28 million, have just been declared major disaster areas. The entire city of New York is set to be without power for several days at least, and hundreds, if not thousands, of homes and other buildings across multiple countries have been destroyed.
All a bit of a bummer, I'll admit, but let's get things in perspective: what about the implications for cloud storage solutions? Thanks to a certain vendor (to save their blushes, let's call it A*ronis) for reminding me of what's really important.
"For many businesses, the cloud can present a cost-effective alternative to tape and disk-based offsite backup and disaster recovery solutions," said an Acron*s exec.
Good point. And I assume that this magical cloud thing can also rebuild my house and ensure the safe return of any unaccounted-for loved ones.

Queue and eh?
At the risk of stuffing you uncomfortably full of Windows 8 gubbins, I couldn't help but business-queuechip in on the unlikely spectacle of tech enthusiasts queueing up through the chilly London night to be the first to get their hands on the new Microsoft OS.
I've just about reconciled myself to the idea that some of my fellow citizens will happily stand, whooping in the cold, to grab a piece of, say, a new Apple wowbox or a member of JLS, but isn't Microsoft a little too everyday to inspire fanboy levels of devotion? It feels like seeing people line up to get a new range of Brillo pads or Tesco basmati rice.
Still, I'm not here to judge, so I naturally attempted to satisfy release-day demand with a midnight opening of Dodgi. Alas, the streets of Dagenham at night are no place for a software enthusiast. I had to let them all in about 11.15pm after six heavy-handed visits from "the local wallet inspector" and an unsavoury encounter with a particularly mean-looking labradoodle.

Bring Your Own Downfall
Imagine my horror to read this week that "a panel of industry experts" has warned that "BYOD poses a serious threat to SMEs". Nooo! There was me stupidly worrying about the double-dip recession, global warming, the increasing schism between east and west and the eurozone implosion, when all along my major problem was Charlie from accounts bringing his iPhone to the office.
"There's no choice as to whether we embrace BYOD or not," said Nick Francis of Barclays, massively inaccurately.
"We need to ensure our partners and clients are fully aware of the risks involved and informed as to how these can be mitigated," said panel chairman and UKFast technical director Neil Lathwood, possibly while pound signs flashed up in his eyes.
In a bid to avoid the impending doom BYOD will wreak upon my helpless organisation, I've acted swiftly to implement a DETABYODYMOYFTS policy among all my staff: Don't Even Think About Bringing Your Own Device, You Muppet, Or You're For The Sack.

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