Sweet dreams are made of this

Here we go again. The software industry has started on the next big thing, and ISVs are leaping on the bandwagon like an Apache war party.

I'm talking about customer relationship management software - or CRM - touted by vendors as a must-have technology for any company seriously interested in profit. Need to know when a particular client last placed an order, or what it was for? No probs. How about synchronising the sales force's computers with those of the inventory department, or integrating the whole shebang with accounts to see who has, or hasn't paid? Again, no probs. Just summon up the CRM program for multi-faceted views of your customer relationship.

I've got no arguments with the basic concept. But the claims being made for the software - that it typically generates a 15 per cent increase in sales effectiveness, in turn translating into 60 per cent increase in bottom line profit - do seem outlandish.

Either way, CRM vendors are crawling out of the woodwork in their droves - as anyone who attended the customer relationship show at Earls Court a fortnight ago will testify. Such is the excitement surrounding CRM that soon global sales will top the $3.5 billion mark, representing a 54 per cent growth rate. Nonetheless, those of a suspicious disposition might suggest that a lot of these products look remarkably like recycled workgroup programs. But who cares? All that really matters is that corporates buy into the concept. And they are. The beauty of CRM software is that it virtually sells itself, thanks to boardrooms and sales executives alike convincing themselves that all they need to do is get someone to install the application and - hey presto - profit will surge. Decision taken, they can then get back to the more specific task of browsing through the Bahamas holiday catalogue.

As one CRM vendor admitted to me: 'It's the best bit of grease I've had for oiling the boardroom door.'

Whether CRM will be just another fad remains to be seen. But for dealers, especially for those involved in integration, it could be the answer to their own sales problems in a more indirect way.

Don't worry too much about installing the software yourself. Concentrate on selling the dream of huge profit in your best pyramid-selling fashion.

Once you've got your foot in the door, the add-on opportunities appear infinite. Linking the software to the client's customer database is merely the begining.

Why just automate the sales force? If top executives are to get the best from the system then they'll probably want some data mining capabilities too. And then there's integration with existing call centre technologies.

Finally, don't forget the tin. If the customer has gone for an all-singing, all-dancing CRM system, why spoil it by using dated PCs that probably don't have enough muscle and are unlikely to cope with all the extra sales traffic?

Nuff said. Sweet dreams all round.

Dave Evans is a freelance IT journalist.