EDITORIAL - Comdex 98: a real comedy festival

Comdex, or Nerds 98, in Las Vegas has just closed up shop.

Technology, not betting chips, ruled last week, but the show that showcases more silicon than the local lap-dancing bars is probably best known for multi-millionaires who come out of their luxury shells to slag each other off.

This year was no exception, as direct PC magnate Michael Dell huffed and puffed and refused to do his keynote speech. The reason was, apparently, that there were too many other keynote speeches. Most likely, Dell pulled out because the other big players, Compaq and Intel, turned their keynotes into a comedy festival. Dell obviously felt their jokes were bigger than his.

Intel hired Bill Maher, the host of the late night TV chat show 'Politically Incorrect' to host a send-up called 'Technically Incorrect'. The house was packed and things really took off when Intel CEO Craig Barratt claimed that technology was becoming more available to the poor and ethnic minority youngsters - Maher said: 'You are full of shit'. Obviously. Maher's cheque was already cashed because he went on to rant about how Intel was forcing constant upgrades on people and how it was just waiting for the middle-aged generation to pop its clogs so it could sell more PCs. The house was in stitches and Intel people smiled. Maybe if Intel had doubled his fee he would have added that Intel also screws up the entire channel when it launches new chips every four and half seconds. Still, enough truth for one day.

Less funny was Compaq's attempt to inject Eckhard Pfeiffer with a personality.

Using a software application that creates life-like faces to interact with PC and Net users when they are in need of technical help, it created Pfeiffer's face. So, he had a conversation with his own face. Unfortunately, the face came out on top when Pfeiffer fluffed the punchline to a joke about his own lack of humour. However, it should be noted that that the real Pfeiffer managed to leave the stage without anyone having to wind him up, again.

On the slagging front, Michael Dell had his digs in private. He reaffirmed his company's credo: no going indirect, no acquisitions, and continued growth. However, while Dell might know his markets, he knows nothing about hypocrisy. During a private speech he gave out about cut-price PCs and how they were a bad investment for most people. Yet the only thing obvious about Dell's success is the direct correlation between the millions he made and his failing memory of where he, and the company, started. Compaq got a bashing too, over its plans to get into direct selling alongside its indirect model; Dell claiming you can't do both successfully. Obviously, though, you can take the money and simultaneously deny that cut-price boxes had anything to with it.

In the end, Comdex was not as hot for resellers as it should have been.

Damn consumer stuff had taken over this year's show (see vox pop, page 14). Still, it shouldn't be long before consumers are a calling you up to pop around and integrate their household server, with the bathroom LCD and the living room multimedia experience. At least, that's what all the big players are hoping for.