JAMES HARDING VIEW FROM THE VALLEY
A quick question and answer would be perfect to start this week's column. Question: How many Microsoft programmers does it take to write a great piece of software? Answer: More.
Young, up-and-coming Silicon Valley folk live in the revered San Francisco Bay Area, enjoy the affluent trappings of their affluent employment and can afford to go out whenever they want. The problem is that many of them have no one to go out with - they have no mates.
This entire area is full of people who have blown in from other parts of the country, even other parts of the world. Local surveys show only one in four people here were bought up in this area. People come to Silicon Valley to further their careers and wallets, but that doesn't guarantee meeting anyone in a social sense. The Silicon Valley work ethic - arrive early and work late no matter how much you have to do - also means that many people here have a limited social life. The personals ads are booming. Two local papers are raking it in by accepting ads to suit many lifestyles, from men seeking men to love on the wild side.
Internet-based dating services are also doing well by matching up over-worked executives. Even the trendy online press has noticed and some now even offer guides about how to 'facemeet' the girl of your dreams. (Facemeet refers to the moment when people who have only ever communicated by email and in chat rooms finally meet each other in the flesh.) Apparently, psychologists and dating agencies advise people not to expect too much, plan neutral things to do, find out who is paying and be prepared just in case the person is an axe murderer.
I kid you not.
Their other piece of sound advice - bring a modem. What for, you ask?
They say you can send email during breaks in the date and if things go flat, you can both get back to having fun in cyberspace. If anyone went on a date with me and bought a modem, then proceeded to email me when I went to the bathroom and suggested looking at some Websites, I think I would become an axe murderer.
Shop till the prices drop
Resellers have kittens during Thanksgiving in the US. The annual two-day holiday at the end of November leads to national road rage as everyone begrudgingly trudges off to see their relatives, then takes the family out to the shopping centre. Only sports stars and the lucky people who work at the electrical superstores and computer retailers have to work, as the superstores cut the prices of PCs like there is no tomorrow.
Ding-dong Merisel on high
If local rumours are to be believed, the US buyer could be getting Pentium II PCs for $1,000.
Compare that to prices in the UK. Despite the debate about whether Unix or Windows NT will be the operating system for business, I always thought that most clever resellers and distributors will notice that most companies actually use both. Many won't bother risking their whole enterprise on one OS.
One distributor has noticed and has started cross-training its staff on both. Who? Merisel, the US distributor that managed to screw up the highly lucrative IT distribution business and sold most of it to CHS Electronics.
Oh dear. Perhaps it's not such a good thing to do after all.
Golden handshake
At Comdex last week I heard about a competition for Windows developers.
The winner of the award for Windows development will get a prize at Windows World Open. The bad news is that Microsoft CEO Bill Gates himself is presenting the award to the winner. The sponsors are promoting the competition, not by offering a prize, but by arguing that congratulations and a handshake from Gates are better than any other incentive they can offer.
Personally, I prefer a few quid every time.
At a loose end
The Las Vegas Hilton hotel, opposite the Comdex Convention Centre, advertises 'the loosest slots in town'. According to someone I know at IBM, that is only one syllable away from accurate.
Im - Mac - ulate conception
A company has come under fire in Silicon Valley for its software. It's not violent. It's not riddled with bugs. It may be all about sex, but it's not even pornographic. The package is called Conceive Fertility Planner and it helps couples achieve pregnancy by identifying the fertile days in the woman's monthly cycle.
The software provides graphs which illustrate when is the best time to conceive. It is unclear as to whether it gives any further instructions.
So if the graphs are the only pictures in the software, what is all the fuss about? Explicit words? Margins on a par with Hewlett Packard? No, not exactly. You see, the company has not yet launched a Mac version and the Mac faithful are not happy. All that Mac passion and they don't know when to express it.
Answer me this
Riddles usually annoy me because they are either too easy, or so difficult that they are impossible.
But I have come up with a timely one for all of you and I'll even give you a clue - anyone who has met Larry Ellison, Oracle CEO, may get this one. I look good on the outside and my appearance is immaculate because people work on me. I could even be considered glossy. But, if you look at me more closely on the inside, I am shallow, useless and offer nothing of interest. I also get fat in December. Who am I?
The answer, for legal reasons of course, is PC Dealer.
James Harding is US Editor of VNU Newswire, based in San Francisco.
He can be reached at [email protected] or on 00 1 415 306 0879.