Having a Ballmer

I was thrilled to see sweaty software supremo Steve Ballmer visited the UK last week and was at his exuberant best.

In a speech at the London School of Economics, the Microsoft big cheese told attendees his favourite game to play on the Xbox is beach volleyball, shortly before giving a full-body demonstration of the sport. Good for you, Steve.

The developer-mad slaphead also showed his famed rapier wit by pretending to ignore a journalist's question about Google Chrome. Bosh! Take that, you search engine scoundrels!

You know, a lot of people have said they consider me the UK Steve Ballmer. Just without the money, power, influence, or charisma. Or the good looks.