Phantom trader

It's been a tough couple of years for the industry, with channel firms quick to leap on the merest hint of any lucrative new revenue streams.

But maybe we've all been missing a trick, with news reaching me that a New Zealander recently sold two ghosts in an online auction. Avie Woodbury claims to have trapped the spirit of an old man and a troublesome little girl in two glass phials.

The containers have been corked and the ethereal beings doused with holy water to dampen their spirits. The pair fetched more than £1,300 on the Trade Me website.

I'm sure there's a couple of ghostly figures floating around Dodgi's sales desk. They're never in the office long enough for me to catch them, mind. Maybe I should try the Dog and Duck.