The game of the name

When I was a dashing young swine with tousled hair and half-baked ideals, my then girlfriend spent a forgettable summer working as a Welcome Desk Operative. Having mercilessly mocked her at the time (we went our separate ways, since you ask), I've made a point of avoiding highfalutin job titles at Dodgi.

I've always hired receptionists. And salespeople. And engineers. So I was intrigued to read about the latest appointment at NetIQ.

I'm a big admirer of the company's system management technology. And Ron Milton, who comes with a terrific CV, will doubtless be a top-notch appointment.

So why lumber him with as unwieldy an epithet as 'vice president of customer value realisation'? What will he do all day? I'm sure he'll have lots of important tasks but, really, he may as well call himself the 'spectral thaumaturge of fairy dust and moon pies'.

I'm sure I don't need to tell you, dear reader, that the eminent biochemist Mahlon B Hoagland really hit the nail on the head when he observed: "Simplicity is indeed often the sign of truth and a criterion of beauty."