A man's work

It's official: men are more productive than women, despite working shorter hours. That's according to productivity enhancement vendor OfficeMetrics, who analysed working patterns in the UK over the past nine months.

Women's attempts to convince bosses that they work harder are 'superficial', the vendor said. Despite coming in earlier and working longer hours, women were found to be 94 per cent as productive as men in July.

Come to think of it, Shirl has been coming in at 7am every morning since the recession started. Although she's currently averaging four hours a day on Jonathan Ross fan sites.