Dunking disorderly

Everything in the modern office has to be examined from the viewpoint of a disgruntled, litigious employee.

But, according to research from Mindlab International, I've been overlooking one of the gravest health and safety risks. The firm claims half the UK population have been injured by biscuits.

Apparently, by far the most perilous snack is the custard cream, followed by the cookie, with the Jaffa cake being the safest. Mindlab director David Lewis said: "We tested biscuits' physical properties, along with aspects of their consumption, such as dunkability and crumb dispersal."

Crikey. Our Shirl's constantly dispersing crumbs all over the reception desk; I'll have to nip it in the bud or I'll have a lawsuit on my hands.