Pet entertainment

I don't know where I would be without the government and its handy guidelines.

Being an animal lover and an owner of cats since the age of six, I always felt there was something missing in my and my cats' lives.

Now, thanks to a Defra guide to keeping animals, with a 26-page pull out on cat care, I know what the missing link is. I need to entertain them.

Now I don't know if that means taking them to the pub or to the cinema - but cats not only like doing their own thing, but they need to be able to 'climb', 'jump' and 'go to the toilet' as well and have some kind of entertainment laid on as well.

Failure to do so could lead to prosecution, the government warns.

It really does beggar belief the stuff that this government wastes taxpayers' money on. Whatever next? A guide to teaching houseflies how to perform circus tricks?

Read the whole crazy story on the BBC here