Sweet taste of success turns sour

A young relative of Dagenham's finest sees his fledgling business shut down. An outraged Dave investigates...

After listening to Stuart 'The Hand' Baggs (as I believe they're calling him) career off on his weekly yo-yo-based rant this week, I felt compelled to put pen to paper today to tell of my disappointment at the curtailment of a similar business scheme.

My nephew, Simon Diamond-Geezer, recently started secondary school and was quick to display the family's renowned entrepreneurial spirit. The enterprising chap invested his pocket money in a few family-sized bags of chocolate bars and began selling his wares in the playground.

Simon was swiftly turning a healthy profit while, he was quick to point out, still selling the treats well below recommended retail price. Everyone's a winner, surely?

The break-time businessman soon found his customer base growing exponentially and he even began to do requests. Branching into the always-lucrative fizzy pop vertical proved one of his shrewdest moves.

Business was booming; the money rolled in, rival operations ran aground and my nephew crunched his P&Ls as he pondered a bold move into the notoriously volatile crisp market. But, just as he looked set to take the business to the next level (the stairwell next to the science block), he was caught red-handed by the feds (or possibly the dinner ladies) who shut down his operation and chucked him in chokey (after-school detention).

I suspect foul play - a tip-off, maybe, from a disgruntled rival or a schoolyard snitch. Or perhaps the word was handed down from Sainsbury's's('s) very own school dinner tsar, Jamie Oliver.

Either way, I was appalled to hear this and told Simon his quest to dominate the playground snack market had been spirited, enterprising and all-around admirable. It's also straight G.

Stay strong and do the time, little man; you can leave the game, but the game doesn't leave you.

And, David Cameron, if you're reading this (and I'm reliably informed he's a big fan), how can you expect private enterprise to stimulate economic growth if the next generation of entrepreneurs are being trampled like this?

My nephew could've been the next Stuart Baggs. Actually, on second thoughts, maybe it's best he was put out of business...