Mushy peas and chips

Inescapable pop entity will.i.am has joined Intel, for some reason. Dave examines the massive ramifications of the groundbreaking appointment

Creator of überhits, mentor of Cheryl Cole, disregarder of punctuation conventions - will.i.am's bow is clearly a many-stringed beast.

And now, added to the impressive CV of the blank-eyed Black Eyed Peas frontman (pictured, in his new office) is a directorship at a CPU manufacturer. Right you are.

Intel has only gone and appointed Mr i.am as its director of creative innovation. The nattily dressed pop prince "will engage in a multi-year, hands-on creative and technology collaboration" with the chip giant.

A misty-eyed w'ill/ia-m said: "When I see an Intel chip, I think of all the creative minds involved that help to amplify my own creativity."

Funnily enough, when I hear a Black Eyed Peas tune, I think of all the soul, beauty and transcendence of a motherboard.

Intel's chief marketing officer Deborah Conrad revealed her employer is "thrilled to tap into the limitless creativity" of the bloke that created classics like the monumentally vacuous ubiqui-hit I Gotta Feeling and...others.

In fact, the "music" mogul is reported to be "already working on music expressly for Intel". And why not, eh? I don't see why songs about processing power and microarchitecture should have noticeably less inspiration, integrity and raw excitement than songs about boom boom pows and lovely lady lumps. Keep reaching for that rainbow, wi'l,l.

The semi-rapper's new made-up job is apparently part of Intel's "compute continuum vision". (Also made-up.)

Still, though, I have to say this is a cracking way of getting a deeply unsexy IT firm into the media spotlight, and I reckon I could pick up a trick here. In fact, I've already asked Dagenham's finest Stacey Solomon if she'll join Dodgi as executive director of solutionising and turnkey productisation.