Service game

Dave questions whether television's war on poor customer service is really worth fighting

I've been intrigued to watch the never-less-than-watchable domineerer extraordinaire Mary Portas wage her one-woman war on poor customer service in recent weeks.

As I've watched increasingly deflated SMB owners being browbeaten into eating into their precarious and precious profit margins, I can't help but wonder whether it's really worth it. And, perhaps more to the point, do enough of us really care?

In the two episodes of Secret Shopper that I've watched, I've noted with interest that the likes of Primark, H&M, Carphone Warehouse and Phones 4U have declined Mary's offer of help. Perhaps they're too busy making stupefyingly enormous piles of money and serving more customers in five minutes than the little guys could dream of seeing in a year.

To give credit where it's due, Portas' work with clothes shop Pilot and mobile retailer Fonehouse did seem to reap positive results. But I can't help but feel her bombastic quest to transform the very nature of customer service on the high street is doomed to fail.

Brits have a reputation for voting with their feet. If we were even half as horrified by all this shoddy customer service as we are encouraged to be, then it's hard to imagine Primark on Oxford St would be so permanently, terrifyingly stuffed to bursting with wild-eyed inexpensive-garment enthusiasts.

And where did this idea come from that businesses are beholden to give us impartial advice? Their raison d'être is to make money, and their sales force's job is to help their employer do that by selling us stuff. Lots of stuff. The more expensive the better.

Surely consumers cannot abdicate their responsibility here (nor should they) - especially in the internet age. It is easier than ever to do your research before you even considering buying. And, if you're really worried about getting ripped off, just keep your wallet firmly closed. None of the high street monoliths has a gun to your head. Yet.

Of course I should point out that, here at Dodgi, we offer a ridiculously fantastic, high-touch, holistic customer service experience. Especially to those customers who never realised just how many servers the average 20-seat firm needs and have a juicy chunk of budget to splurge before year-end.