Another fine mess

Dave reports on copyright controversy, soggy storage, exhibitionist equines, and multinationals making massive mounds of money

I was shocked to discover recently that YouTube superstars the Fine Brothers had backtracked on their attempt to trademark, among other things, the word ‘react'.

Of course, I have long been a huge admirer of the Fine Brothers' pioneering work (I loved Weather With You, fellas) but for the benefit of any readers less down with the kids than I am, let me bring you up to speed with a précis of the duo's career to date that I totally didn't have to look up on Wikipedia.

Famed for their "reaction videos" (including the hilarious Kids React, the seminal YouTubers React, and the groundbreaking [citation needed]), fraternal funsters Benny and Rafi Fine have amassed a whopping 14 million followers on YouTube.

But they recently attracted their fans' ire by unveiling plans to establish a React World hub, in which people could borrow elements of the siblings' signature format (filming people reacting to stuff) and the Fines would kindly share the money made by other people's work. The duo also attempted to trademark certain elements of their take on the reaction video genre, as well as certain uses of the not-uncommon English word ‘react'.

The gambit was met with incredulity and disgust and the pair swiftly withdrew the plans and issued an apology. If only they'd filmed people's reactions - something tells me it would have been entertaining viewing.

No bombing, no horseplay

Speaking of spurious copyright claims, holiday hawker Thomson recent ran a Made Me Smile competition in which UK citizens were invited to send in cutesy or otherwise heartwarming snaps in the name of winning a £2,000 holiday.

The contest was won by three-year-old Jacob Bellis, who snapped a rather sweet selfie while walking with his dad David down a public footpath through fields in their home town of Prestatyn. But the picture's undoubted star was the photobombing horse just behind them performing a kind of manic grin.

The nag's owner Nicola Mitchell said she was "really annoyed" that the shot had been used without her - or presumably the horse's - permission, and asserted that the Bellises should share the prize. David pointed out that this would mean everyone concerned going on holiday together - which might be a bit awks - while legal eagles have claimed that Mitchell's case "doesn't really hold up in law". Sorry, Nicola - sounds like a "neigh" to me.

Swimming in data

Ringo Starr once famously espoused the virtues of residing under the sea. And now anyone storing their copy of Abbey Road in the cloud may give the drumming Beatle the chance to finally fulfil his wish. It might not quite be the idyllic octopus's garden perhaps born of hippie idealism and powerful hallucinogens, but Microsoft is working on establishing a datacentre beneath the ocean waves.

The vendor giant recently undertook a trial run, in which a computing facility was kept about 1km off the Californian coast between August and December last year. The datacentre has now been fished out and taken back to Microsoft's Seattle HQ for examination, and presumably to de-barnacle the hull. The Windows maker is hoping that being able to store data sub-aquatically will reduce latency and energy consumption, with data stored closer to users and the sea acting as a natural coolant.

"We would shout and swim about the coral that lies beneath the waves," said Microsoft, probably. "Oh, what joy for every girl and boy - knowing they're happy and they're safe."

Alpha beater?

Anyone who finds Apple to be an unbearably smug bunch will have revelled in the news that the Mac peddler is no longer the world's most valuable company. That honour was taken last week by Google parent company Alphabet, which saw its shares soar by almost a tenth after publishing healthy-looking Q4 numbers. As I write, the search titan's market capitalisation is about $550bn.

Apple, meanwhile, is worth a puny $531bn. Alphabet's ascension ends Apple's reign of more than three years at the top, having surpassed former leader Exxon Mobil in 2012. Some people might feel sympathy at the fruity vendor's fall from grace, but iLaughed.