Is the Datrontech share price so bad that business development director Tony Wand has been forced to start singing for his supper? We were astonished to discover recently that the charming Wand moonlights as a rock 'n' roll vocalist and is actually good enough to have his own recording contract.
PC Squealer interrupted the channel's version of Robbie Williams in the middle of practising his scales at a recording studio, prior to putting down a few tracks for his next album. We're sure Wand's CD will be a chart-topper, but if by chance only family and close friends end up buying copies and he's looking for a back-up gig, he's sure to be hit in the Comdef cabaret. Let's just hope he's not a Wand-hit wonder!
You gotta Roll with it
Microsoft's official launch bash for Office 2000 at the top of the Park Lane Hilton (appropriately named the 'Windows' bar - arf, arf) was an absolute hoot, if not a little over the top on the Microsoft-related drinks. The line-up of cocktails included the Outlook, Powerpoint, Excel or, more bizarrely, the Oliver Roll. Quite how Microsoft's director of product marketing suddenly became important enough to merit an alcoholic beverage being named after him is anybody's guess, but if Ollie gets on as well with those in charge of the drinkies as he does with the Coneheads (that's him in the middle, folks) then the sky's the limit.
But Mr Roll wasn't the only one who would do (almost) anything for a bit of publicity. Just take a look at Peter Williams, who we're reliably informed is Microsoft's UK product management specialist.
His sartorial elegance outshone everything else at the party - and that includes the Benny and Bjorn doppelgangers from the tribute band Bjorn Again, which sent the audience wild later in the night. That's more than can be said for the DJ, whose job it was to keep the party going until no one could stand any longer. Admittedly, he did have a job on his hands coming on straight after the Swedish popsters, but his efforts were so lacklustre that the bar staff thought it was packing up time and went about wheeling tables and chairs between revellers across the dancefloor.
Tinkling on the ivories
Those still hungry to party were forced to retire to the adjacent bar, where by now a few worse-for-wear die-hards had assembled around a grand piano for a little sing song. That nobody could play the piano (or sing, for that matter) didn't seem to dampen the atmosphere, as everyone seemed happy to sing the same line from John Lennon's Imagine over and over again. Perhaps it was time to go home after all.
Staying with Microsoft a moment longer, the response from last week's picture of Steve 'the dark side' Ballmer doing an impression of the Phantom Menace baddie was so overwhelming that we have decided to show you another one. In this rather unfortunate pose, the Microsoft number two appears to be wearing some kind of sporran. Maybe Microsoft has introduced a status identity scheme - rather like the McDonalds stars - whereby the closer you get to Sir Bill, the bigger the sporran you get to wear. Or perhaps Ballmer has Celtic roots that, in true Pat Robertson style, he is keen to suppress? And then we realised that the 'sporran' was in fact the back of the head of the poor girl sat in front of our snapper. Next week - exclusive pics of Ballmer caber-tossing in the Scottish Highlands.
That's another fine Ness
Eagle-eyed Net heads claim to have observed a rare glimpse of the Loch Ness monster after logging onto a Web camera. A couple, sitting at their PC in Texas, were watching Scotland Online's 'Loch Ness Live' Web cam when they claim to have seen a dark shape on the water. They captured the image and got in touch with Scotland Online straight away, to tell them about the world's first online sighting of the legendary monster.
Monster boffins claim that sightings are more common in June, because the longer days 'confuse' Nessie when she emerges late in the evening and it's still light. PC Squealer wasn't convinced, so we logged onto the Website ourselves - only to be informed that 'too many users were logged on' as a result an image wasn't available.
Say Hello wave goodbye
We've all heard about the curse of Hello magazine. You know, when it features that dream couple who are sooo in lurve, only to find that a week after the copy came out, they split up because he ran off with some floosie. Well, this curse can now be applied to yours truly with our very own Face to Face. Three weeks ago, we featured that loveable Ronan McDonald, managing director of Ideal Hardware, and heard about how storage really turned him on. Then last week, we found out he had gone. It seems a shame when we spent hours listening to him talking about how successful Ideal Hardware was and went to such lengths to get a new piccy of him. But maybe the writing was on the wall when Ronan went to Comdef at the last minute because Ian French couldn't make it. Life isn't ideal at Ideal.
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