Dream Direct's latest catalogue cover illustration suggests a new niche for the mobile computing market. Where better to use your notebook but on a beach, comfortably seated in a deckchair? Who wants to bother with relaxing - or God forbid - sunbathing?
Get out of jail free card
That little ole millennium bug just keeps on getting nastier. Its latest sneakey jape is down to the fact that a lot of prison doors are controlled by ... you guessed it, a computer. A computer which is not millennium compliant of course. So, come 1 January 2000 and it's open sesame. If you're thinking of pulling that bank heist, December 1999 looks like a pretty safe bet.
Give me a C, give me an O
Meanwhile, Concept Kitchen came up with a novel way of attracting attention at the Retail Vision conference. The company's three representatives were seen bouncing around the Century Plaza dressed as cheerleaders. Presumably, this was supposed to inspire confidence in its range of PDA accessories.
Ra, Ra, Ra.
Having it away in LA
During a press trip to RetailVision in Beverly Hills, a certain PC Dealer reporter was spotted indulging in his Hollywood movie star fantasies - again. Not only was he spied cruising around in a stretch limo, but he was later identified as the third man in a careering Ferrari F355 Spider, along with a couple of geezers from Traxdata. The use of status to procure women of ill repute was avoided, and of course, had anything salacious occurred, our reporter would have made his excuses and left. Honestly.
Curious about that large expenses bill, though.
A spoonful of Sugar
The Alan Sugar empire has grown by one more product, the Integra bodyskate.
Apparently, it resembles an iron on wheels, it tones and massages and costs #169. Mr Sugar has not yet personally tested the product, but he did explain: 'I have sold seven to eight million computers in my lifetime, and I still can't use one.' Well, let's hope it doesn't go the way of Spurs.
I 'ad that IT firm in the back of the cab last week ... Computacenter's latest ad stunt is to emblazon its colours all over a London black cab. PC Squealer is none too sure about the wisdom of connecting your organisation to taking short cuts and talking about state of the nation, Guv'nor.
Gear, throttle and Burnett Memory Plus teamed up with the News of the World to support the KRC Motorcycle endurance team. The resulting photograph revealed a slightly odd choice of safety clothing. High heels, skirts the length of a head band and skimpy tops that don't seem to provide adequate protection for those poor 'NoW girls'. However, the photographic composition is to be admired. Richard Burnett, Memory Plus MD, shows immense courage in his fantastic foreground pose - he just can't get enough of those lovely lassies.
It will all come out in the wash
It's not all work, work, work, you know. In fact, PC Squealer heard of a certain person at a certain company who entered into extra-marital activity with a colleague. Unfortunately, the missus got to hear about it - as women do - and decided on revenge.
She arrived at said company, and putting a call through to the woman foremost in her thoughts, greeted her in reception with the remark: 'If you want to sleep with my husband then you can do his washing as well,' and proceeded to dump his dirty laundry all over the floor. The moral of the story is don't air your dirty washing in public as you never know who is listening or watching.
Even the top go tourist
Valerie Paxton, VP of US direct marketeer Insight, was reeling with satisfaction after she helped the company buy up UK cataloguer Choice Peripherals.
It means she can now get on with the real business of being An American in London - witnessing the changing of the guard. She is particularly thrilled, PC Squealer was told, by the prospect of doing it over Easter.
We know we are, Valerie.
Get your Gex off
The latest game hero to hit your screens (and wallets) is Gex the Gecko.
Right then. So now we have hedgehogs, bandicoots, crocodiles, frogs, giant apes and various aliens. Is there any creature left that hasn't yet acquired video game hero status? Brace yourselves next year for the releases of Arnold the Amoeba, Piers the Piece of Pyrite and Quentin the Courageous Cabbage.
Corker forgery falldown
Top tip from Graeme Watt, managing director of Computer 2000. What do you do if your sister takes a #100 bottle of wine to a party without realising it is your Dad's favourite, which he has been saving for a special occasion?
Obviously, you go out and try to find a replacement.
But you hit a hurdle when you can't find that particular grape for 1988 ( a good year for wine don't you know). So Watt's tip to you lucky wine thieves is buy a 1983 and then fill in the number three with a black felt tip pen to make it an eight. But please try and do it better than dear old Graeme - or James Spader as he is affectionately known as at PC Squealer - because he was eventually caught out by his Dad who, understandably, was not best pleased.
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