I was shocked to learn this week that the top brass at MI5 are set replace a load of IT-phobic dinosaurs with hip young gunslingers who know their dangles from their dongles.
The Intelligence and Security Committee's Annual Report for 2009/10 reveals that a number of voluntary and compulsory redundancies are being made. The report notes: "The (Security) Service has also been reviewing its staff profile. One particular area of concern was the level of IT skills."
The Service's director general Jonathan Evans added: "I think some of the staff aren't quite perhaps the ones that we will want for the future."
It seems the modern criminal mastermind is increasingly eschewing Monte Carlo casinos and tropical island hideouts in favour of message board subversiveness. (Now, where's the fun in that? What's the point in being an evil genius if you can't be a bit of a flash Harry with it?)
But Evans is adamant. "There's no doubt that the internet is a strong vector of threat as far as espionage is concerned," he mused.
And so, it seems, the common-or-garden spy's days of Martini drinking, loveless sex and xenophobic quips are numbered. In their stead will be some Firetrap-clad generation Y Shoreditch malingerers, watching YouTube all day.
I've told Dave Jnr he should apply for the school leavers programme.
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