Some of the staff at Dodgi are never satisfied. I let them finish at 4pm on Christmas Eve instead of 7pm, but still they moaned about the lack of a proper staff party.
They carried the moans on well into the new year as well, so I made a [quiet] vow to look into laying something on at the end of this year [provided they can do it for £5 a head].
I was quite chuffed when I was invited by a journo mate of mine to crash his recent staff party (for crash, read serve drinks and food). I thought it would give me some ideas for next Christmas.
The company had apparently gone all out on this one, hiring out a posh footie stadium - sadly not the Orient - and laying on a comedien.
Well, looking round the room, he certainly had the audience split. He seemed unable to go without a reference to a certain part of male anatomy for more than five seconds, and thought that if delivered at volume, it would be even funnier.
This guy certainly gave Roy Chubby Brown and Bernard Manning a run for their money in the smut stakes and picked on several of the company's top brass to direct said smut at.
Now as a boss of a reputable company in Dagenham, I don't think I could allow some long-haired northern whippersnapper to degrade my manhood in that manner in front of my staff. I have a reputation to uphold.
So I won't be laying on anything like that next year.
Looks like another 4pm finish then and a mince pie if they are lucky.
Automation firms UiPath and Automation Anywhere close out their funding rounds with $265m and $300m respectively
View photos of last night's awards ceremony in London
View photos of all the winners from the 2018 Channel Awards
After a glittering awards evening in Battersea celebrating 25 years of the Awards, we are pleased to share the list of winners and judges' commended winners