On behalf of all the right-minded viewers of the UK may I say this: walk away, Tom.
Speccy inventor Tom Pellereau might be the most likeable man ever to subject himself to the vaguely business-orientated narcissist jamboree that is The Apprentice. He seems like a fairly well-rounded person, with a decent career and good prospects - why on earth would he want to throw in his lot - not to mention his intellectual property - with a beardy old curmudgeon who once predicted the iPod would be a fad that sunk without a trace within a year?
(While we're at it, let's also remember that this is a man who once said he didn't see the point of 16-bit processors. A man who was one of personal computing's biggest success stories, but led one of the world's top PC makers to obscurity.)
Anyway, watching Tom ask in pigeon French if he could have a word with the "postcard manager, please", was very, very funny. (Incidentally, I used to manage postcards for one of the West End's most successful tourist kiosks before branching into IT.)
But not being able to sell teapots in Paris doesn't make Tom a bad inventor. If this is representative of the kind of bizarre, chaos theory way in which the Sugarlord makes business decisions, it's no wonder he tried to smash into the smartphone market with the strange beast that was the [email protected]
Tom was ultimately spared in the boardroom shakedown, but it was interesting to see little Al come over like some kind of bearded, cockney Lex Luthor.
"She's ruthless, she'll climb over anyone to get what she wants. I like that," he said of Melody.
Arguably good traits if you're looking for a post with a global crime and supervillainy syndicate. But would anyone really want to work with, or for, someone like that? (Credit where credit's due though - she has turned a company that was only incorporated months after filming had finished into a global business.)
Anyway, it seems clear to me that Tom is the only candidate a sane man would remotely consider investing in. (Chucking 250 grand at a mid-level project management professional to see if they're any good at running a company seems more like an absurdly expensive parlour game than a business plan.)
But, for your own sake, man, find your backing elsewhere. How many people read this blog? Must be at least 250,000 (at least that's what the chaps at CRN tell me). I say we all chip a quid and tell Tom to go and make his way in the world - who's with me?
Automation firms UiPath and Automation Anywhere close out their funding rounds with $265m and $300m respectively
View photos of last night's awards ceremony in London
View photos of all the winners from the 2018 Channel Awards
After a glittering awards evening in Battersea celebrating 25 years of the Awards, we are pleased to share the list of winners and judges' commended winners