Have you been feeling a little peaky of late? Running a temperature? Breaking out in cold sweats? Permit me to diagnose you, dear reader. It can surely only be a case of... Olympic fever!
With the Games just around the corner, experts estimate that about 99.8 per cent of people are literally bursting with excitement at the prospect of having the world’s best athletes on their doorstep. On their doorstep, that is, if they live in Stratford.
And, even then, the runners, rowers and rhythmic gymnasts will be safely secreted away in their purpose-built village. But you get the idea. Olympicitis is also pervading the channel, although I felt that maybe network provider Exponential-e had gone a bit far with a recent press release.
For no discernible reason the bumpf said: “Exponential-e was founded 10 years ago, in the shadow of the Olympic Stadium in the heart of east London.” Now, leaving aside arguments about where “the heart of east London” is (though it’s Dagenham, obviously), it’s doubtful whether the Olympic Park could cast a shadow from the northern reaches of Newham all the way to Aldgate, where Exponential-e is based.
Even on a sunny winter’s day. Perhaps it might also be a little ambitious to suggest that the stadium, impressive as it is, could’ve towered over anything three years before London even won the Olympics.
Speaking of my fair city, I read this week that London Overground passengers will soon be able to benefit from Wi-Fi. Travellers will soon be enjoying one free hour’s connectivity, courtesy of BSkyB sub¬sidiary The Cloud (nice work snaffling that company name, fellas!)
According to Gary David Smith, co-founder of VAR Prism, this can only be good for workaholic cockneys. “It will help to alleviate some of the stress commuters feel from not using their time productively,” he mused.
Yeah, tell me about it. I know that half-hour I spend immersed in a book, free of nagging wives, feckless kids, idiotic staff, irate customers and chuggers, is just about the worst time of my day.
I heard this week of a hapless distribution exec who recently sent a rather off-colour email to a reseller sales head.
This distie chap, let’s call him John Thomas, had been liaising with VAR exec Mary about a disk storage deal. “Dear Mary,” wrote John. “In the relation to the Vendor A project, please clarify how big a di*k you need. Thanks, John.”
Suffice to say the missing letter was not the intended ‘s’. The red-faced distie man apologised profusely for his “error”. Yeah, right. Gord’s been pulling that trick for years.
As a 24/7/365 workaholic who always has his mind 118 per cent focused on doing business, I’ve been known to work some pretty unsociable hours. But even I draw the line at bringing my Dodgi antics into the boudoir.
But according to “research” commissioned by security jamboree Infosec, 35 per cent of us use a mobile device to do work when in bed.
Assuming this factors in people who work in shops, farmers, hairdressers, bank tellers, waiters, fishermen and clowns, I reckon this means pretty much every person who can work from their bed is doing so.
More than 10 per cent of us spend more than an hour a day working from our slumber pit, while almost two per cent admit to averaging two hours a day. Which seems like great news for those of us who like our employees to live and breathe their work.
But, wait! The “study” shows that a frankly staggering one in four bed-workers do not have strong security. NOOOOOOO!!!
Claire Sellick, event director for Infosecurity Europe, said: “On the darker side, this reveals the scale of the problem for IT security departments.” It also reveals the scale of the challenge facing dermatologists and marriage counsellors in reining in increasing instances of bedsores and divorce.
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