Regular reader(s) will be well aware of my love of deeply pioneering research - particularly when it unexpectedly reinforces the proposition of the vendor that just so happened to commission the study - what are the chances?!
So I was typically excited to receive a report from a well-known organisation, which itself was equally thrilled in proclaiming that "79 per cent of people had no idea they were actually in dire need of product X". I was interested in hearing more from this seminal work, so asked if I could see the raw data.
When it arrived, I was a little bemused to see that only 41 per cent of people had claimed they were in dire need of product X, so I called up and asked what the deal was.
"If you look closely, 38 per cent of people didn't answer that question," said the marketing bod. "We just assumed they'd all have answered ‘yes'."
Genius. I shall take the same approach the next time a Dodgi customer complains they didn't sign up for a five-year service contract.
Stone the crows! My cup truly runneth over this week, dear reader, as another piece of shocking research hit my inbox.
Imagine my surprise to learn that, according to Gartner, the majority of people use their tablet PC to... (wait for it)... check their email!? (No way!) And read the news!? (Seriously?) And check the weather!? (Unbelievable, Jeff!)
Some 81 per cent of respondents use the tactile form factor to check their mail, followed by checking the news (69 per cent) and viewing the weather forecast (63 per cent).
And with the cat well and truly among the tablet pigeons, I was stunned to see the standard rooms of yer classic house set-up are the most popular places to use the iPad. Sorry, tablet.
The living room (or lounge, if you're normal) leads the way with 87 per cent, with bedroom on 65 and kitchen on 47.
Gartner number cruncher Carolina Milanesi dropped this bombshell: "Weekday evenings are the most popular time to use media tablets." Far out, Cazza. Though I tend not to use mine on weekday evenings. Or any time when Her Indoors is, well, indoors. I prefer to (ahem) "check the weather" when I've got the house to myself.
At the Cole face
If we're being honest, the IT industry is hardly awash with dazzlingly attractive people. Balding, aging, growing waistline; and unfortunately, that's just me. So when I saw that model and actress Lily Cole was supporting a software competition for kids, I was thrilled. (A little over-excited, actually).
The Young Rewired scheme aims to encourage youngsters to get involved with IT and develop websites and software. Cole, an open source enthusiast and creator of social network impossible.com, is one of the judges.
For those of you who bypassed the 2007 schoolgirl-based film St Trinian's, in which Cole played a starring role, alongside members of pop group Girls Aloud, well, you really missed out there.
In fact, I'm so inspired by Lily's involvement in IT, I think I'll lock my office door for the afternoon and fire up the DVD.
Changing your stripes
I learned this week that a well-known channel face harbours dreams of decamping to foreign climes and jacking it all in for a life of conservationism.
At an event, the compassionate exec asked: "What's your dream, Dave?"
My mind raced with a heady brew of images involving Katherine Jenkins, a policewoman's uniform, a fan belt and a crate of tinned peaches. But I realised my pal meant dreams of a more aspirational nature, and muttered something about making Dodgi attractive to investors and moving to Dorset to do a little consultancy and a lot of gardening.
"My dream is to buy some land in Tibet or India and become a tiger conservationist," came the starry-eyed reply.
I asked my chum what the pay was like and whether the gig came with a company car, but they shook their head and walked away.
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