Warning: This is written with tongue firmly in cheek.
Fanbois across the globe were working themselves into a frenzy once more with the launch of the iPad Mini yesterday.
I fear for their safety I really do, with the iPad 3 and the iPhone 5 barely out of their boxes. Now they have another device to add to their ever-growing list.
Along with the launch of its latest tablet device which 7.9 inches tall and is the width of a pencil (I wonder if Samsung is going to take any action against Apple now?), Apple calmly announced it would be launching another full-sized iPad in six months, rather than its previous yearly interval.
Of course this new device will have double the processor power and also the new-style connector port that has raised eyebrows in the iPhone community.
Oh and it will be double the price in the UK as every device seems to be. (Just saying).
Now some would say Apple is just milking its customers for every penny. Only some, mind.
Others would say that it is just a smart business move and an effective way of giving customers a wide range of products and performance to choose from.
I won't say which camp I fall into - I'll leave you guessing on that one.
So it is with this in mind that I've decided to invent the iSpend device (I'm not sure how it is going to look yet; perhaps just a giant grabbing hand) that will happily pluck a few hundred pounds from every fanbois' pocket every six months.
They won't even notice.
How can I possibly go wrong?
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