Everyone in the industry has surely heard a number of jokes that liken the name Wang to a colloquial verb that meaning 'to masturbate'. Not the people at ALR, it seems. The company either has a very naughty sense of humour or it hasn't got a clue, because it has hired Wang to run its on-site warranties in the UK as a service for its customers and has nicknamed it Wang Care. If it is a good service, it could be called a complete Wang Care; an absolute and total Wang Care.
If it is run by imbeciles, Channel Talk could describe it as a stupid Wang Care. The old ones are the best.
Channel Talk thinks there is too much crap TV as it is, without the extra problems that 24-hour themed satellite channels bring. Not content with Sky Sports 3, the Playboy Channel and the Christian channel, there is a new channel.
It is, in fact, a channel for the channel because Sky has decided to launch The Computer Channel. Broadcasting from 1 November, the channel covers IT in detail, with programmes on games and guides to technology for beginners and experts during its 6pm to 8pm slots. If you are at IT all day at work and all night in front of the television, Channel Talk thinks you are over-doing IT. As your mother told you - stop IT, you'll go blind.
How to make money out of the Internet - lesson number one, as told to Channel Talk by a senior Olivetti marketing person. First, develop a text retrieval package that can be used to sift through the acres of rubbish on the Web searching for certain criteria. Second, sell it to people as the ideal way to find their favourite kind of porn on the Internet. Third, spend far too long talking about the prospect of making money out of Internet porn in the presence of industry journalists. Finally, read PC Delia and wish you'd been a little more restrained.
Keep you cutlery away from your PC.
That must be the message as renowned fork-bender Uri Geller goes online.
He is conducting what he claims is the first telepathic experiment using the Internet. Or at least those are the vibes our resident mystic has picked up in the ether.
PC Delia has finally given up its battle and embraced technology. At the risk of being open to huge volumes of junk email, the staff here have quietly got email access to the outside world. PC Delia people are always available to the lovely readership at [email protected] But Channel Talk, of course, has to do things slightly differently. At an exclusive address - [email protected] - Channel Talk awaits your future funnies and maddest moments. Has anyone mocked you in this column or do you want Channel Talk to take revenge on anyone for you? Are you incensed by some of things Channel Talk writes?
Do you know many funny stories, or any funny stories? Don't ask what dribbler is all about, but please mail any old junk to that address. Junk mail within reason, that is.
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