A multi-millionaire Silicon Valley entrepreneur, who believes that aliens are behind today's technological advances, has quit the $2 billion company he founded four years ago. Joe Firmage thinks that not only do aliens exist, but that much of the world's religious tradition and recent technological advancements are because of extraterrestrial influence. He has taken the decision to leave internet consultancy USWeb/CKS, as he felt that his beliefs could damage the company.
His start-up, the International Space Sciences Organisation (ISSO), is out to prove these points.
A cornerstone of Firmage's theory is that 'teachers', as he calls them, revealed themselves to the US government in the New Mexico desert and planted the seeds of the digital age. His message to sceptics is: 'It's the Flat Earth Society mentality all over again and I'm here to prove my theory is real'. You have been warned.
Spare a dime for a mobile phone?
Obviously carrying on with the spirit of Christmas, one US company has decided to give homeless people a cellular voicemail box. The thinking behind this is that because the homeless find it hard to get a job without a permanent address, employers are put off by the fact that some people have to give a shelter number. While US Cellular is promoting this service in conjunction with 120 homeless shelters in cities - including Milwaukee and Tulsa - there is no mention of whether the company will also hand out the free mobile phones as well. We always thought that charity began at home, not on the phone.
Be afraid ...
Those crazy marketing people at KMP Internet Solutions have had a nightmare - sorry, that should be dreamt up - the idea of having a weird-looking, bendy, rubber man as the inspiration behind a Website to 'provide an insight into e-marketing.' However, it seems a bit strange using a man that looks like he is just about to chuck up all over your PC, as well as using the graphics of a rather scary-looking managing director.
Still, if it gets your point across, go for it. Just don't send it to us again.
Left holding the baby
There is no limit to the lengths that some people take their work and family duties. Take, for instance, Jonathan Freeman, director of corporate finance at Beeson Gregory. He had offered to babysit his one-year-old son, Rory, as his wife wanted to go out for a girlie evening.
But the evening clashed with the publication of the prospectus for Memory Corporation which Beeson Gregory was doing. But true to his word - very unusual in a man - Freeman brought dear little Rory into the printers office for the all-night session. Secretaries and fellow directors of the broker were pressed into service to sing lullabies, change nappies and feed the wee thing, but Rory was apparently more happy with the mechanics of placing and rights issues. He obviously wants to follow in his father's footsteps.
Here's one I prepared earlier
Are you one of those envious people that goes round wishing they had a Blue Peter badge? Well, next time you see Rob Lines ask to see his.
Dear old Rob, a logical infrastructure communications consultant (whatever that is - Ed) at Equinox Solutions, has recently appeared on Blue Peter showing off his talents as member of the English Kayak Surfing Team, ranked third in the UK. And for all Rob's efforts he received a Blue Peter badge.
Wow, wish we had one!
A switch in time
Must send a special thanks to Johnson King who, on behalf of Xylan, sent PC Squealer a copy of The Switching Book II.
'Oh no,' cried the office, 'we missed the first one!' Could this book be billed as 'The Revenge of the Switches?' We can't wait to read it.
Come aboard the love vote
With less than a month to go until Valentine's Day - now there's a date to put in your diaries - we received a little ditty claiming that there are 155 people with the surname Romeo registered on the UK electoral register, but only four people with the surname Juliet. There are 16 people with the name Casanova, 52 with Cupid and 18 with Eros. Now wouldn't it be interesting to know how many people are registered as channel, dealer, systems integrator or Var? No, we didn't think so either.
2000 reasons to go shopping
There are only 345 shopping days to go until Christmas. So how timely it was last week to receive the details of when three high-street retailers will close their doors in 1999 and reopen them in the dreaded year 2000. Put these very important dates in your organiser: M&S will close its doors at 4pm on 31 December, while Sainsbury's and Waitrose do the same at 6pm. All three of them will open on 3 January 2000. PC Squealer can't wait.
Behind bars, but free to surf
And just in case any of you out there are a bit short of time or just want to have a good gawp at what has to be one of the whackiest Websites around, take a look at jailbabes.com.
Apparently, these poor, innocent women are appealing to people to write to them as they spend their time behind bars paying for their crime. There is a nice picture of each of these babes, which includes their age and what they like spending their spare time doing. It was slightly strange to see that some loved spending their hours walking and hill climbing.
Rather reassuring was the date given for their release. But, strangely, there was no mention about why they were in jail in the first place.
Mind the gaaaaaahh!
Best avoid the westbound Central Line at Liverpool Street over the next few weeks. That is, unless you either have a suicidal tendency or a burning desire to examine the underside of London Underground's (LU) rolling stock.
A representative for the well-loved and not at all overpriced LU has reported that there has been a rise in suicides at Liverpool Street as commuters crane their necks to work out what the hell IBM's latest advertising campaign is going on about. There were even alleged reports of people falling off the platform because they were 'intrigued' with the side-long views of IBM's super-thin monitors.
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