The Americans, bang up to date with modern thinking, have discovered that the Internet is addictive. The American Psychological Association has discovered that the Net is as addictive as drugs, alcohol or gambling. The only new information is that women are at most risk - 239 females are certified mad about the Internet, as opposed to 157 men. One woman spent 12 hours a day surfing the Web. She stopped cooking, cleaning and playing golf with her hubby. Despite the fact that she spent more time playing with her PC than her husband, he foolishly told her to choose: 'the PC or me'. She decided the PC and the Internet are 'what's cool' and told him to 'hit the superhighway, Jack'.
Perhaps this woman will find solace in Online Jesus, the virtual version of the Messiah. Online Jesus is a German computer program that takes confessions and dispenses penances. Das program claims to cleanse the soul, but UK clergy are displeased. 'I worry it will lessen the value of the confessional,' one said. 'It is no substitute for the one to one contact that is the richness of the confessional.' But the installation disks have been blessed and consecrated and can forgive users for various sins, up to a total. For example, drug abuse is worth 10 sin points, coveting a neighbour's wife 22 points and murder 1,000 points. The total confessed points prompts the program to suggest a suitable penance - usually some Hail Marys and Our Fathers. But the programmers had some grip on reality. If the total of points is high enough, the program recommends a visit to a priest.
Last week, PC Delia revealed that Computacenter is moving into distribution. That was not as big a shock to one older member of the magazine's sharp news team. After a gig in the City earlier this year, he was almost mowed down by a very big Computacenter truck. Now that would have been a story.
Despite the problems associated with changing its corporate identity, Technology has adjusted well to becoming Tplc. The subsidiary of icy hell has placed ads in a variety of magazines - and they've been successful, the company claims. So it's no surprise to find that Tplc has chosen a dark blue background with gold letters for its branding. Can you remember reading anything else with a dark blue background and gold letters? If not, turn the pages of this magazine. Tplc is bound to succeed - it's using PC Delia's colours.
A better image for Tplc cannot change one thing about the company. Teepee Elsie may be an expanding, growing company that plays hard and works hard (Channel Talk has seen the corporate video), but a visit to the Warrington HQ is not advisable. The car park is about 50 spaces too small. Channel Talk had the pleasure of listening to one Tplc staff rant about a Tplc senior exec that had blocked her car in and disappeared to an off-site meeting. He probably wanted to escape the Tplc car park.
Take a look at updates from 2018's Fight Night, held at The Brewery in London
CEO Denis Kaminskiy talks through growth plans after scoring £3m investment from YFM Equity Partners
Deal will see Daisy take on 80,000 TalkTalk business customers
Ginni Rometty claims AI will enable business to improve on an exponential curve, an event that has only happened two other times in the last 60 years