Nokia and Alcatel-Lucent confirmed their impending union this month, in a move reminiscent of two half-cut and emotionally fragile singletons drawn to each other at the end of a wedding disco.
The once-mighty pair have seen their fortunes wane in recent years. And, while the combined entity's €25.9bn top line will reportedly make it the second most significant player in the sector, the merger was labelled a defensive move by Frost and Sullivan opinion-voicer Sheridan Nye.
The analyst believes a united company could compete against Ericsson and Huawei in a way they never could as individual firms. Plus it means they'll only need one taxi back to the hotel.
Paul Boshoff is a wonderfully satisfying name (say it now in your head or out loud to your colleagues and you'll instantly feel happier). It's also a name HP partners will be encountering regularly following his appointment as channel boss for the vendor's printing and personal systems (PPS) group. That means he'll be heading up the HP Inc channel once it's split.
But if you see Boshoff, do go easy on the man, as he's flown halfway around the world to be here, having previously headed up PPS in New Zealand.
George Axelrod's play The Seven Year Itch explores the human inclination to be unfaithful as our relationships wear on. That's a tendency Lenovo is doubtless preparing to exploit as it looks to play the role of homewrecker in the server channel.
Fresh from buying IBM's System x business, Lenovo is making cow eyes at HP and Dell partners by offering those that have already certified on rivals' products free access to the equivalent part of its One Channel programme for a six-month trial period.
"There is an even greater opportunity ahead for partners as we fully integrate the System x business into our channel model," smouldered Lenovo EMEA VP Vincent Fauquenot.
Doing a buy and build in the IT channel is a bit like engaging in a game of high-stakes poker: only the most skilled, experienced and - perhaps just as importantly - luckiest players can hope to emerge in profit, as 2e2's bankruptcy in 2013 reminded us.
Coms looks very much like one competitor unable to assemble a winning hand after confirming it may sell off all or parts of its business.
Coms' business is built on the 2014 acquisition of Redstone's cabling unit and 2013 purchase of comms VAR Actimax. But the firm confirmed it has appointed an adviser to "explore business opportunities" after warning it expects to swing to a full-year loss of "at least several million pounds".
We can only hope that Coms is concealing an ace up its sleeve.
Last week was definitely one to forget for the AMD chief executive. Not only did her company post woeful Q1 results - with net losses rising ninefold year on year to $180m on sales which dropped 26 per cent to $1.03bn - but she also managed to divulge another firm's top-secret info in the process.
Speaking on a conference call to discuss the underwhelming numbers, Su (pictured) let slip that the chip maker's performance later in the year could be affected by the launch of Windows 10. A launch which she took it upon herself to announce on Microsoft's behalf is slated for "the end of July".
Next week: Su spills the beans on Wonka's everlasting gobstopper and the new Guns ‘N' Roses album.
The rotting hull of the wreck of Coraid finally sank to the bottom this month. The Ethernet storage vendor first ran into funding troubles in January,and was forced to make significant reductions in headcount. But, led by CEO Dave Kresse, the firm battled on in its search to find a buyer for its remaining assets: a handful of staff, and its intellectual property.
But former employees tell us the company has officially filed for bankruptcy, and all means of contacting the firm - Twitter, phone, and its own website - no longer work.
We wish affected staff, partners, and customers well.
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