Of mice and men
Having a computer that smells is probably not uncommon for a lot of resellers - it usually means it's overheating and is about to catch fire.
Pretty soon, however, we could have a computer that actually smells (the verb, not the noun).
Nigerian tech guru Oshi Agabi has, rather disturbingly, created a computer that is based on mice neurons rather than the more commonly used silicon. In theory, the machine will have a sense of smell that could be used to detect bombs at airports and illnesses in patients.
Agabi's start-up was launched a year ago and has already raised $1m in funding.
Although the machine is some way off mass production, Agabi has already revealed what he says is a working prototype of the device.
If and when it hits the market, it is Dodgi's plan to not only become a silver partner (at least), but also install the machines on our own sales floor, as breathalysers. It is the suspicion of the board that some of our account managers and middle management have not been performing at the peak of their abilities since The Hog's Head introduced two-for-one cocktails between 5pm and 9pm on Tuesdays. And I must say I'm slightly hurt that they've never asked me to join them.
The comms channel breathed a collective sigh of despair last month, when BT announced it would be cutting the number of operational phone boxes in the country by half, to just 20,000.
BT, which looks after the boxes, claims that demand for their services has dramatically decreased over recent years and the cost of maintaining them has become unsustainable.
One reseller that is prospering however, is X2 Connect Limited - the only BT-endorsed reseller of Red K6 telephone boxes in the UK. They even offer shipping services - a textbook example of how distribution can be cut out of the channel to save margin.
The boxes are listed as ￡2,750 on the X2 website, but communities and charities can purchase them under BT's adoption scheme for just ￡1 (not sure where the margin comes from here).
I think the famous red pods should be rebranded as Printer Boxes. You never know when you might need to carry out some urgent printing, and we've got a cracking line of Epson Ecotank printers that we're looking to shift ASAP.
Watch this space
The wearable tech market could be set for a resurgence driven by the sporting world, after baseball team the Boston Red Sox found an innovative way to both make use of a novelty tech item and achieve winning results at the same time.
An investigation by Major League Baseball has reportedly discovered that the Red Sox used an Apple Watch to transmit the plans of opposing teams to their batsman, who therefore knew what kind of pitch was about to be thrown at them before it happened.
A spy in the stands is said to have watched the opposing team make signs to each other to confirm what pitch to throw, before sending the information to someone on the Red Sox bench via the Apple Watch. This person communicated it to the batsman to round off a neat little ploy.
I'm all for employers using new tech to aid their workforce and cut out unnecessary challenges. I'm currently trying to convince the manager of our Sunday league team to pick up an order of 11 virtual reality headsets. The illusion of playing at Wembley week in week out is just the motivation we need to avoid a sixth consecutive relegation.
■ Dave Diamond-Geezer, director of Digital Online Deals and Global Integration (Dodgi) of Dagenham Ltd
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