Dave the dealer: 24 April 2006

Dave Diamond-Geezer, director of Digital Online Deals and Global Integration (Dodgi) of Dagenham Ltd, is famed among other resellers for his ability to make margin on anything. Contact him at [email protected] of you have some pukka gossip or a load of...er, suspiciously cheap components.

A tough egg to crack How stupid are some people? A survey, conducted outside Victoria Station by Infosecurity Europe, revealed that 81 per cent of people would willingly give away their private details in return for the promise of free chocolate. Answers given included mother's maiden names, pets' names, first schools and dates of birth Ð all used by the majority of us as passwords for very personal information. The prize on offer was £60 worth of Easter eggs. I'd have demanded at least £200 worth of chocolate for my personal details, and I'd have given them all Gordon's details. It's great being the boss and having access to sensitive information.

Snapping to it
Hewlett-Packard has developed a wearable camera at its Bristol labs. It's a tiny camera that can simultaneously capture stills and video footage, and is attached to the centre of a pair of sunglasses. With the summer coming up and women's clothes becoming skimpier, I can snap away to my heart's content and access the footage at a more "private time". The only problem is, Shirl has been buying skimpy clothes too and I shudder to think of what the camera could capture

What's in a name? I heard last week that Muhammad Ali had sold 80 per cent of the rights to his name for $50m. Although I may not float like a butterfly and sting like a bee in the boxing ring, I am well known for it in the business world, so I decided to put the rights to my name up for sale on eBay. So far I haven't had any offers, but I'm figuring it's because no one has gathered up the right amount of cash to put in a decent offer yet.

A tidy little earner
I was talking to my mate who manages another reseller down the road in the Dog and Duck, when he said he had to carry out an important business interview and left. Because I hadn't much to do I decided to pay him a little visit to see if I could nick some business off him, and discovered him hoovering the office in time to Queen's I Want To Break Free. Apparently he does the cleaning all the time. I told him that if he didn't come and clean Dodgi Towers, I'd tell his wife, and he'd have to do all the housework at home. A very productive lunch break, I'd say.