Life at the Ocean rave is too close for comfort

Snoop goes north and discovers the natives are more than friendly

This month's dedication to the job award goes to the bunnies at Ocean. Following a recent day long presentation to the trade, Ocean treated its retailers to a night of debauchery at Manchester's Town Hall and instructed its employees to "get closer to buyers." And get closer they did. A night of wall-to-wall tree high tall snogging followed.

Leading the charge were the HMV boys who nailed a brace of bunnies. But Virgin Our Price slipped into second place from behind, closely followed by Beatties' sole representative. Snoop would like to congratulate Debbie, Kirsty and Vanessa for services above and beyond the call of Ocean. Buyers you know who you are. Aside from the prolonged bouts of french kissing, party goers witnessed HMV's Darren Newnham perform a frenzied exhibition of air guitar, as he paid tribute to look-alike Lemmy of Motorhead. Incidentally Snoop would be interested in talking to anyone who has further information about the fire alarm incident following the party at the Princess hotel.

The highly charged atmosphere of Manchester proved a bit too much for Snoop. As a result he decided to take a break from it all and visit Blackpool, the decidedly less steamy Riviera of the North West. While heading towards the promenade his keen security senses pricked up when he saw a billboard advertising Sony Playstations for u25, Mega drives for u10 and Game Boys for u5.

Snoop spared a thought for the berk from Wakefield who camped outside Software City's Leeds store to buy a Playstation for u99.99 as part of that new venture's opening promotion. In Snoop's experience he could have spent the night on an incontinence-sheeted bunk bed and enjoyed the cold fry-up hospitality of Blackpool landlady, bought a Playstation, and still had change from u40.

But could these machines have been legitimately purchased through Centresoft or Sony and was this outlet, with a similar product portfolio to Comet or Tempo and the pricing strategy of a German manufacturer/retailer trying to buy some UK market share, a registered Playstation Centre?

Snoop popped into the establishment expecting to watch these hot ticket items fly out of the door, possibly in a bundle with Eidos' Olympic Games and Olympic Soccer. He was surprised to see no signs of the games console and after inquiring about them was told: "Sorry pal, you've come just too late. I've just sold my last one." Snoop pointed out that the Advertising Standards Authority took a very dim view of promoting special sale prices to lure customers in without having the necessary stock to back up the deal. An offer of an unusual way of swallowing a stick of rock was the response.

Snoop did buy one of the two-band radios on offer but was disappointed to discover the two bands were Bucks Fizz and Ocean's marketing team doing a selection of Oasis covers live at Manchester Tow Hall. The shop didn't have a satisfactory returns policy.

Back from Blackpool, Snoop swiftly managed to pop into the new Leeds based Software City. The store boasts a u400,000 shop fit and Snoop considers the money spent on hastily written hand-printed signage was well used.

This mysteriously disappeared whenever a press photographer came on the scene.

This store boasts 6,000 lines and chief executive Alan Taylor states: "We've got the depth of choice and the breadth of range." The competition responds that it's got a lot of old rubbish distributors have been trying to get rid of for a while. Taylor greeted this information with a pitying look suggesting his blinkered rivals will soon be eating their words and then revealed: "We have bought up u30,000 of Leisuresoft's stock which will be sold at 90% off retail."

The decision by Silica's parent Anglo to take on 20-odd Escom outlets has prompted one Snoop contact and respected retail analyst to suggest there might be a downscaling of the number of concessions they have within Debenhams stores. He thinks that their footfall and sales might not be as high as hoped and pointed out that the last time he'd visited his local store there had been "tumbleweed rolling over the carpet".

Derby is apparently another Tumbleweed Town and its Albion Street shopping centre a retail black hole according to Game. This chain swiftly shut up shop there and is now marvelling at its good fortune that some other retailer was prepared to offer good money to take its place.