Channel talk - 20th March

Last week Channel Talk was surprised to find out that nice boy Chris Lewis has another love in his life. While supposedly tied to his main mistress Microsoft, he has been unfaithful for several years, nurturing a secret passion for hairy men in the band Status Quo. The channel manager tried to deny it by saying he only liked them a bit in the early 70s, but his friends say it's been a while since he had a haircut. Whatever you want, Chris, whatever you want.

If you're rich, you can often behave in ways forbidden to lesser mortals. Let Channel Talk give you one little example. After flying to Paris last year for a conference, Larry Ellison, Oracle's quixotic CEO, left the plane, looked at the sky and said: 'It's raining, to hell with this, I'm going home.' And he did.

ICL is going through some pretty rough times. PC Dealer originally broke the story of the PC TV, a not inconsiderably expensive item intended for your kids and which, let's just say, sold in limited quantities. But as part of its thrust to get back into the black it's got a secret weapon in its armoury. Yes, It's another PC TV.

This week PC Dealer has roved out onto the high seas to bring you a Taiwanese Channel Talk. With China's missiles pointed at its shores, the anxious Taiwanese government is taking stock - it's buying printers. German printer company Mannesman Tally is braving the dangerous waters to rush in extra orders of its dot-matrix printers. Apparently the Government had heard the vendor's claims that their product was 'heavy duty', but fit for battle? That could be another thing.

Taiwan Channel Talk number two.

As the US Nimitz steams - surely nuclears? - towards the Taiwan channel to deter the Chinese from invading, the island is doing its best to carry on as normal. Last week Acer Peripherals predicted that the island would be the largest producer of monitors this year, assuming of course there still is an island at the end of this year.

Chip theft has definitely entered the consciousness of the nation after last Wednesday's feature in BBC1's consumer programme Here and Now. But The Scottish Daily Record still has a way to go to understanding the problem when it reported a theft at oil giant Conoco's Aberdeen HQ. Apparently thieves made off with #21,000 worth of 'tiny' computer chips - as opposed to thefts of large computer chips?

Channel Talk has always said that Microsoft knows how to put on a good show. At this year's Inside Track brainstorm it had a pierced and tattooed high-wire act swinging above the diners' heads during the evening bash, and hired Rory Bremner to amuse and entertain with an after-dinner speech. It also hired Will Carling to deliver a speech about his success, on and off the pitch. In retrospect, this must have turned out to be the high spot of his week.