Wipeout - it's the game for indies

It's not all plain sailing for indies - some people are intent onwiping them out, says Network FD Martin Briggs.

I wonder how many of you have come across a game being played on the high street today? I've called it Screw the Retailer.

The game is simple to play and has but one object - the untimely demise of the independent computer retailer.

The rules are straightforward but depend upon the character being played.

If you are a successful software house, you simply insert a form in your latest multimedia encyclopaedia offering the end-user the opportunity to buy further issues direct from yourselves at a substantial discount.

Result: the retailer is screwed and you build up a database of customers to whom you can send direct mail enticing them to buy future products direct from you.

Alternatively, if you don't fancy that, then put instructions on each of your CDs which entice the end-user to become an agent for your product.

They can buy at a discounted price and sell titles at the software equivalent of Tupperware parties in competition with established retail outlets.

Result: the retailer is screwed.

You could decide to play the part of a major trade-only distributor.

This is a bit more complicated as it requires you to set up one or more companies which sell direct to the end-user, thus screwing the retailer.

If you fancy a high-risk part, play the role of a high street chain.

In this case the rules are very flexible. You can reduce prices so that you make a loss on every item you sell and you can pre-empt release dates so that the independent is left with vast quantities of rapidly depreciating stock. But be warned - these tactics may result in you being wiped out of the game.

All these roles will go towards driving independent retailers out of business, but contain a certain risk of being found out. So one of the best ploys is to play as a government department. This means that you can adopt all sorts of European legislation concerning electronic emissions from electrical equipment. If someone cries "foul" you can always pretend that you didn't realise that this would screw so many computer retailers.

Shortly after this you can try to introduce new legislation which will enhance the warranties offered to the consumer - a surefire way to ensure that the retailer gets screwed.

This is not a comprehensive list of participants in the game. The names of some of the participants have been omitted to prevent the entry of another player - the libel lawyer. If you fancy playing the independent retailer you should get some therapy and pay attention to the man who said "the easiest way to end up with a u1million out of selling computers is to start with u2 million."