The 12 sales of Christmas

James Cox reckons ‘tis the season to be jolly, and perhaps even sing louder for your supper in the channel

On the first day of Christmas,
my vendor sent to me
a sales-ready opportunity.

On the second day of Christmas,
my vendor sent to me:
two gentle shoves,
and a sales-ready opportunity.

On the third day of Christmas,
my vendor sent to me:
three French whines,
two gentle shoves,
and a sales-ready opportunity.

On the fourth day of Christmas,
my vendor sent to me:
for(ty) cold calls,
three French whines,
two gentle shoves,
and a sales-ready opportunity.

On the fifth day of Christmas,
my vendor sent to me:
five doughnut rings,
for(ty) cold calls,
three French whines,
two gentle shoves,
and a sales-ready opportunity.

On the sixth day of Christmas,
my vendor sent to me:
six deals a-greasing,
five doughnut rings,
for(ty) cold calls,
three French whines,
two gentle shoves,
and a sales-ready opportunity.

On the seventh day of Christmas,
my vendor sent to me:
seven salesmen scheming
six deals a-greasing,
five doughnut rings,
for(ty) cold calls,
three French whines,
two gentle shoves,
and a sales-ready opportunity.

On the eighth day of Christmas,
my vendor sent to me:
eight contracts a-chasing,
seven salesmen scheming,
six deals a-greasing,
five doughnut rings,
for(ty) cold calls,
three French whines,
two gentle shoves,
and a sales-ready opportunity.

On the ninth day of Christmas,
my vendor sent to me:
nine Christmas parties,
eight contracts a-chasing,
seven salesmen scheming,
six deals a-greasing,
five doughnut rings,
for(ty) cold calls,
three French whines,
two gentle shoves,
and a sales-ready opportunity.

On the 10th day of Christmas,
my vendor sent to me:
ten pre-sales briefings,
nine Christmas parties,
eight contracts a-chasing,
seven salesmen scheming,
six deals a-greasing,
five doughnut rings,
for(ty) cold calls,
three French whines,
two gentle shoves,
and a sales-ready opportunity.

On the 11th day of Christmas,
my vendor sent to me:
eleven clouds a-hyping,
ten pre-sales briefings,
nine Christmas parties,
eight contracts a-chasing,
seven salesmen scheming,
six deals a-greasing,
five doughnut rings,
for(ty) cold calls,
three French whines,
two gentle shoves,
and a sales-ready opportunity.

On the 12th day of Christmas,
my vendor sent to me:
twelve campaigns coming,
eleven clouds a-hyping,
ten pre-sales briefings,
nine Christmas parties,
eight contracts a-chasing,
seven salesmen scheming,
six deals a-greasing,
five doughnut rings,
for(ty) cold calls,
three French whines,
two gentle shoves,
and a sales-ready opportunity.

James Cox is managing director and founder at Tracepoint