Systemax CEO sends staff 'motivational' song

Spoof of pop song All About That Bass tells staff "two hours of talk will result in improved KPIs"

Systemax sales staff were sent a ‘motivational' spoof song on Friday by their CEO Richard Leeds, according to sources.

The song, based on the hit All About That Bass, by Meghan Trainor, is purportedly designed to remind sales staff of their obligation to hit phone-time targets.

Sources say the rendition was intended to inspire sales staff in the US office, although the ditty seemed to make its way across the pond to UK employees as well.

The song tells staff that "two hours of talk will result in improved KPIs" and starts with the verse:

"Yeah it's pretty clear - I've got lots of quotes
But I have to close ‘em, close ‘em at 40 percent, folks
Cos (sic) I got those products that all the purchasers chase
And all the right services in all the right places"

This is not the first time Systemax has tried to inspire its staff with its artistic prowess.

Last year, its UK business - Misco - sent sales staff a spoof video called "Talktime", loosely based on the film Taken.

In that effort, staff were told: "If you aren't calling your customers...your competitors are...we expect a minimum of two and a half hours' talktime every day...if you can't achieve this...he will find you!"

The film then cut to a shot of then-sales director Richard Logan, who, ironically, himself is understood to have departed Misco in September this year, although his Linkedin profile cites him as still working there.

Comments made on Channelnomics sister site CRN UK in response to Misco's "Talktime" were sceptical at best, with one commentator saying: "How to devalue your workforce's efforts in one [fell] swoop, same across the entire reseller community".

Friday's artistic effort came just as two ex-Systemax execs were charged with taking supplier kickbacks and concealing their illicit income from the US Internal Revenue Service.