SeXbox
Dave gets hot under the collar as he fills you in on semi-naked gaming widows, hippyish SMBs and remote working evangelists
As someone whose formative years took place in the golden dawn of computer gaming, I'm rarely happier than when the console's fired up, the beer and salty snacks are close at hand and Her Indoors is passed out on the sofa next to an empty carton of sauv blanc.
There are hundreds of opportunities - business meetings, dinner parties, school plays, court appearances - that I'd happily pass up for the chance to snatch a couple of hours of Pro Evo or Call of Duty time. But even I can't help but feel that a Mr Eric Zuber of Pennsylvania might have taken his gaming love a bit far.
After reportedly playing Xbox with his pals for two days straight, his other half, Heather Hayes, allegedly gave him an ultimatum: drop the pad - and your pants - now, or face the consequences. According to local coppers, the Xboxer declined the offer of a bit of the other, infuriating the frustrated female.
At this point, according to Zuber, she began to hit, bite and grab him, including in some rather tender areas. When he decided to run to the local shop to alert the authorities, she reportedly chased him down the street, all the while in a state of lower-half undress (her keks having been pre-emptively removed in anticipation of some slap and tickle). Responding officers found her "standing by the trash container, nude from the waist down".
I reckon Her Indoors would sympathise with our Eric. She's long been of the opinion that, when it comes to the bedroom, she's far happier with a bit of technology.
TalkTalking nonsense
Imagine my incredulity to read "research" claiming that the modern breed of SMB entrepreneur is more interested in attaining a good work/life balance than in growing their business and owning fancy status symbols.
According to unimaginably reliable stats from TalkTalk Business, some 81 per cent of small business chiefs would rather "work in an industry that they are passionate about and are happy to forgo big bucks and a jet-set lifestyle". (NB - no, they wouldn't.)
Also, when asked what they needed to catch up with bigger competitors (NB - more sales of more stuff), about a quarter said "access to technology and telecoms", according to the figures from the technology and telecoms firm. Which must mean that a massive three quarters could not give a monkey's about technology and telecoms.
A visibly distressed (probably) Charles Bligh, grand fromage of ChatChat Bizness, implored Johnny Small-Businessman to think again.
"By providing great value for money solutions we are better able to ensure the latest telecoms technology is available to as many businesses as possible," he wailed.
Perhaps you should appeal to their more idealistic side, Charlie. Nothing says "healthy work/life balance" like a refresh of your telecoms estate.
Remote possibilities
I'm sure it didn't escape your notice, dear reader, that last week was Anywhere Working Week. But in case you've been in a cave on Mars with a blindfold on and earphones in, let me clue you in: Anywhere Working Week is a not-in-any-way-pointless designated five-day period for Joe Public to appreciate "how remote working can increase your productivity and wellbeing, save the environment, and most importantly, affect your bottom line in terms of your time and your money".
Incongruously, the Anywhere Working Consortium promoted the use of mobility technologies by going on a nationwide tour, taking in Norwich, Chelmsford, Bristol, London and the "Tavistock Enterprise Hub" (which I believe is a Wimpy restaurant).
The blurb sez: "It's a great opportunity to try out flexible working if you've not made the jump yet." (The jump to Chelmsford, I presume).
Regular reader(s) will be aware of my antipathy towards the array of Something Days and Something Else Weeks that have proliferated in recent years. But, for me, this one takes the biscuit if for no other reason than the terrible syntax of "Anywhere Working Week".
Until you can put three words in a cogent order, you won't be working anywhere at all if I have anything to do with it.
You may also like
/sponsored/4039897/industry-voice-constant-life-change-last-months
Security
Industry Voice: "The only constant in life is change*", and no more so than in the last 18 months
We've seen a monumental change in how we buy, work, and communicate, and more change is afoot…
/sponsored/4035557/partner-content-voice-mobility-set-critical-services-resellers
Security
Partner Content: Voice, data and mobility set to become critical services for IT resellers
Exclusive research conducted by CRN in association with Gamma, shows how the pandemic has increased the appetite for Unified Communications