The brain gain game
Dagenham's finest discovers why videogamers have different brains to the rest of us mere mortals. Apparently.
I read this week that, according to research, habitual video gamers have different brains to the rest of us. Übergamers, who play more than nine hours a week, have a larger ventral striatum - the hub of the brain's reward system, closely linked to addiction.
Dr Simone Kuhn at Ghent University told the BBC the vertical sternum is "usually activated when people experience pleasure such as winning money, good food or sex".
Or, in this case, sitting in your PJs, gorging on funsize Milky Ways while totally wasting some 11-year-old kid on Call of Duty. Mega.
Researchers have stressed it is as yet unclear whether playing lots of video games makes your venereal sterilum bigger, or if having a massive reward centre is more likely to drive you to gaming overindulgence. The academics are now testing this by getting adults who have never touched a video game before to play lots of them to see if their vestigial sputum gets bigger.
I reckon I might sign up for this. Of course, as a career technologist, I've played the odd round of Tetris. But I wouldn't mind an all-expenses-paid trip to Belgium to sit on my harris and play Super Monkey Ball all day.