David Diamond-Geezer*

Head honcho, Dodgi Solutions, Services and Systems Inc Ltd PLC

Career so far I’ve been a butcher, a baker and a candlestick maker. Very quickly realised that demand for hand-crafted candlesticks is next to non-existent so got into IT.

If you could be anyone else for a week, who would you be? Sometimes the constant adulation and devotion of my staff gets too much. I’d be John Terry for a week and experience what it’s like to be less-than-universally loved.

What will next year’s most overhyped industry buzzword be? Any time I hear the abomination that is ‘the internet of things’ is one time too many. Utter bilge.

Has 2012 been a good, bad or ugly year? Typically good for Dodgi, typically bad for the Orient and typically ugly for yours truly. In my younger days on the east London dating scene I was known as the face that sunk a thousand ships.

What would you have as your last meal? A very fine Malbec, 2012 vintage. Just needs to age for 30-odd years.

What keeps you awake at night? Used to be acid flashbacks, now it’s just acid reflux. The joys of ageing.

What piece of technology could you not be without? My electronic nose-hair clipper. It’s taken a decade off my conk.

Have any of your predictions come true this year? The only things I’d stake my hat on are death, taxes and England crashing out on pennos in the quarter finals of a major tournament.

What is the best partner/customer trip you have ever been on? I took a prospect to Orient-Wycombe in 2005/6. They left at half time and never returned my calls, but that 1-0 win really reignited our promotion push.

What do you see as the channel’s biggest challenge in 2013? Convincing the world that, actually, the cloud is a load of old cobblers. It’s a big task, but I reckon we’re up to the job.

* I also pen Jason Statham fan fiction under the nom de plume Mike Destruction. Bosh!