Yule be sorry

My antipathy towards most things Christmassy, (the secular, expensive bits), is legendary around the office. Ever since I was a young man I've endured this fatuous merry-go-round of simmering resentment, bitter recriminations and really rubbish gifts with a knot in my stomach that gets just a little bit bigger every year.

As a token sop to staff morale, I do allow some decoration of Dodgi's HQ. (Though if I see any festive adornments before the start of December, the offending employee is liable to receive a P45. Wrapped in tinsel, obviously).

Things are tougher in the outside world, however, where you're constantly reminded of the impending festive season from late October onwards. I'm just thankful I don't live in Milnrow, Rochdale, where Christmas decorations went up earlier this week. This week having taken place, as you can't have failed to notice, in the month of August.

Rochdale Borough Council, whose decision it was to erect the decorations, claim putting them up alongside other lighting could save £10,000 in taxpayers' money in one fell swoop. The council also pointed out that the lights will help add a bit of festivity to a number of other upcoming celebrations.

These include the Muslim festival of Eid next month and Diwali, the Festival of Lights celebrated by Hindus, Sikhs, Buddhists and Jains, in October. (Though the council has pointed out that the "penguin skiing in Santa hat" light was not erected with the intention of being illuminated to celebrate the culmination of the holy month of Ramadan.)

I can't help but feel this is somehow worse. If I had to look at a joyless, unlit reindeer every day for four months, I think I'd need to retire to a nice room with padded walls.